I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
