youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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