I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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