I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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