so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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