Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
