remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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