New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
