so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
