Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
