i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize