just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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