Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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