my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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