I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
