I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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