i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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