thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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