Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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