I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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