1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize