I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize