naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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