I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
