I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
