You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
