oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
