Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
