He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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