Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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