Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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