She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
