We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize