The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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