Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
