Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
