Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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