I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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