I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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