YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
