After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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