I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I could fuck to npr.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
