I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
