How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Duck Duck Cougar?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
