C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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