we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
