this just has baby written all over it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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