She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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