Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize