he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
