sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
