and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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