they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
