if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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