I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
