We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
