is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
