We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
