i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
All I want is dick and wine.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
