Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
