OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
