saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
