have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
