Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
