My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Houston, we have a blender
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
